GLEE!

[ladyfalcon]

I just got a package in the mail from my paternal auntperson. Upon opening it, I emitted what may have been the loudest and/or most piercing shriek ever since I attained legal adult status.

For inside, oh my brothers, was this shirt, which, if for some reason you do not wish to click on the link I so painstakingly cut-and-pasted HTML code for, pictures a skull wearing a chef's hat with a blood-dripping knife in its teeth, reading 'Cook Free or Die'. It appears to be the official logo of www.grillbitch.com (which is not up yet).

The Grill Bitch, as you may or may not know, is a character made famous in Anthony Bourdain's book Kitchen Confidential, where she was one of the handiest female cooks of Mr. Bourdain's acquaintance, who also once threw a Moroccan over a countertop and began dry-humping him from behind, yelling (as I believe) "How do you like that, bitch?" (She had her reasons). She is also my cousin (I think?) Beth (by marriage)(who I have never met). (I put qualifiers in parentheses so that they count less). (I put them all in their own sets of parentheses because I like making parenthetical comments). She may be my favorite relative, sight-unseen.

Along with that came a picture of Beth with Tony, which yes, it's just something my Aunt Gail printed off her computer, but it's the first time I've seen this cousin(?) who is so much my favorite, and also it is a picture of Tony.

There is a reason this is important. In this whole world, there are many things I love, and the very top of the list goes thusly:

1: Sleep.
2: Food.
3: Power tools (see also: Krystle's and my plan to move to Seattle and "flip" old houses for money).
4: Sex.
5: Anthony Bourdain (See also: 2).

Coming in close after number 6: Anything Green, comes number 7: Potential girl-cousin who is cool and does interesting things and is possibly psychotic.

(My other girl-cousins, the ones that are both definitively my cousins and also much more directly related to Beth than I am, much as I love them, are not psychotic at all, and while they do cool things they both grew up to be accountants. Also, they're both indescribably beautiful, and so I feel I have slightly less in common with them than I might otherwise. Beth is also very beautiful, but thankfully describably so).

And so this was a very exciting thing. I am already planning to harangue Krystle into performing some sort of sewing project of my design on the shirt. I was still in the baggy-black-t-shirt wearing phase last time I saw my aunt, but I'm out of it now and so I'm considering ways to make it fit more girlishly while still being undeniably cool. And, of course, it has to be something I can convince Krystle that it won't take forever, because it's harder to get her into the sweatshop when she knows what's coming.

Erin

(Geocities is being tedious. Grillbitch.com isn't up yet, therefore technically the picture can't be linked to... never mind that if you go to grillbitch.com it will take you to the image directory which has the picture. Or at least it did earlier. Whatever. That is why I have provided the description, to enable you to paint a picture with your minds).

Comments

[chadnfrood.livejournal.com]

I'm curious: did you get that user icon because you like the music blogger consortium of the same name?

The shirt sounds great. I like Bourdain a lot, too. One of my goals in life now is to have a shot of liquor with a cobra's still-beating heart in it.

[ladyfalcon.livejournal.com]

I think I either got the image off a random Google Image Search or going through the backlogues of Vogue editorials online. I troll both rather frequently to find icon ideas. I made the user icon because I thought the idea itself was funny, particularly given the retro look of the thing. I had no idea there was anything else having to do with it. In all honestly, I'm not very musical in any sense.

If someone were to come up to me right now (or at any point) and say, quick, in this moment, what is the job you'd most like to have for the rest of your life, tell me and I'll give it to you, I'd point to Bourdain and say, "I want that job." It wasn't in the post, but next on the list of things I love is number 8: Travelling, or the idea of travelling, since I haven't really been very many places yet (for reference see the map on my userinfo. It's kind of depressing).

[chadnfrood.livejournal.com]

I suppose I tipped my hand (if the frequency of the mp3's that I post didn't): I'm something of a music nerd.

If offered any job, I'd choose to own a brewery. There's a reasonable chance that I'll retire to a life of microbrewing in my golden years. Travelling the world and sampling some of the interesting things it has to offer will undoubtedly factor into whatever I do. I've travelled a reasonable amount, but thus far have been nowhere more exotic than some rural spots in Germany.

[ladyfalcon.livejournal.com]

I like having friends who are music nerds because it means I get to hear quality new stuff all the time without having to be responsible for finding it or filtering out all the tripe in the world. I mean, filtering still occurs, because I have a pretty set musical taste, but it makes my life a lot easier.

A brewry would be a pretty fantastic sort of business to run. I've often imagined owning a vinyard (the girly chic alternative). At the first college I went to, if you studied abroad in Italy you had an opportunity to take wine-tasting classes, and I always thought becoming a sommelier would be a nicely extravagant/pointless thing to be.

[chadnfrood.livejournal.com]

Well, if you give me a rough outline of what you like, I'll make you a mix at some point.

I'll be spending some time at the Brooklyn Brewery tonight. I'm a huge fan of their stuff, and I am friends with a guy who helps run the place. He's one of the happiest people I know, and always manages to introduce me to a few beers that aren't commercially available.

I know a little bit about wine, and my step-brother knows quite a bit. The two of us toured some really great wineries around Bordeaux. If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend doing this. Although I haven't done wine tours in California, I have heard that they are eclipsed by touring wineries in France. The ones we saw were exactly what you'd imagine: full of bucolic charm and people with an affable old-world connection to their craft.

[alidaxagyk.livejournal.com]

You can get local produce in any quantity you like starting with a slice or an egg. Named The English Grocer , their shop is located in Buntingford, a small town of in Hertfordshire (their storefront illustrates this piece).

[ladyfalcon.livejournal.com]

This is the logo that's on the shirt. Due to various whatsits, the quaity and sizing aren't terrific, but that's more or less what it looks like, and it's on my shirt, and I love it.

[pirate-library.livejournal.com]

There are so many ways that your love list could be put together. Not all of them agreeable.

Anyway, how do you feel about trains?

Also, I'd have to see the shirt before I cut it into pieces and sew it back together again to assure that the cutting it to pieces and sewing it back together again is do-able.

LoveLove,
Krystle

[ladyfalcon.livejournal.com]

The continued prevalence of Amtrak accidents would suggest that Tina Fey was not entirely incorrect when she suggested on SNL that after more than 200 years, there is still something about them we can't get right.

However, this is not enough to make me opposed to trains, because trains mean going places and I like going places, even in moderately or even wildly unsafe conveyances. I'm kind of stupid like that. Where do you suggest we go?

The one thing I did make sure of is that the shirt has side seams, which I suppose would be crucial to re-sizing it, since mostly what I want you to do is take a whole lot of material from the general side-area and turn it from a square-shaped silhouette into an Erin-shaped one. Yet another of the swiftly mounting reasons I cannot wait to get back to school.

Erin

[lostsailors.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's awesome.

[radanax.livejournal.com]

win.

[sarcasticwriter.livejournal.com]

There is a reason this is important. In this whole world, there are many things I love, and the very top of the list goes thusly:

1: Sleep.
2: Food.
3: Power tools (see also: Krystle's and my plan to move to Seattle and "flip" old houses for money).
4: Sex.
5: Anthony Bourdain (See also: 2 (And See also: 4(?!)).

And what does it say about my mind that "power tools" conjured a whole image that had nothing to do with home repair?

[ladyfalcon.livejournal.com]

Probably that the near proximity of 'power tools' to 'sex' confused your febrile brain. I assure you, my love of power tools only has to do with the fact that I like to work with my hands.

... You dirty pervert.

use this if nessesary!

[(Anonymous)]

http://tramadol-sqllt.blogspot.com/
Good Luck!